The Big Why

“So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters, and whether it matters for ages or only for hours, nobody can say.”

-Virginia Woolf

When I was teaching high school theater, parents would often say to me, “I know she’s talented/he has a gift, but is it really possible for them to make a decent living at this?” 

My reply was always, “Ask them if they can imagine themselves doing anything else, if they picture themselves giving it up and being happy. If the answer is yes, then it probably isn’t possible. If the answer is no, they’ll never forgive themselves if they don’t give it a shot.”

One of those kids became a Broadway choreographer and has won two Tonies. One wrote for television in L.A. One is a sound engineer. One is award-winning indie film actress, Julianna Robinson. 

One went to AMDA and is now managing a bar in Reno. 

I was recently on a Google Meet with ten of them who had gathered for their 30^th class reunion. (They are older now than I was when I was their teacher!) The Tony winner and the screen writer were both there. So was the attorney in the D.A’.s office, the city council woman, and the Turkish foreign exchange student now practicing international law in London. And the mother of four who loves her life. All of them said theater was a huge part of shaping them into the people they’ve become.

As we look at the year ahead, some of us are asking ourselves: why do I keep writing? If my chances of getting published are a bajillion to one because I don’t have 10,000 social media followers and a high profile platform, what, actually, is the point. Yet if we ask ourselves that other question: If I gave up writing completely, would I be happy?, most of us would say No!

Rather than look at that as a knot that’s impossible to untangle (like several pieces of jewelry I own… ), let’s consider two important things—things that might just keep us coming back to those stories and poems and scripts and posts and non-fiction pieces that won’t stop nagging us.

Why are you currently writing? 

As quickly as you can, make a bullet list of five (5) reasons why you are currently writing—right now, in this season of your life. Be honest. Let these be the first things that pop into your head.

Now sit back comfortably and read the answers women writers before you have given to that question:

• Referring to her “Hospital Sketches,” written for her family when she was nursing during the Civil War, Louisa May Alc0tt said, “It never made me much money, but it showed me my style.” (It was another 15 years of struggle before Little Women was published)
• Virginia Woolf is quoted as saying, “So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters, and whether it matters for ages or only for hours, nobody can say.”
• Said Frances Hodgson Burnett, author of The Secret Garden and other beloved children’s books, “She dispensed generously the one hospitality she could offer—the dreams she dreamed—the visions she saw—the imaginings which were her joy and comfort.”
• And our own Scribbling Woman Abigail Horgash said to me in a conversation, “We write because it brings us alive.”   

How, if at all, does that differ from your list? How many of your reasons are attached to outcomes? There is nothing at all wrong with having dreams of seeing your book on the shelves at Barnes and Noble, reading sparkling reviews of it on Amazon, signing copies for a long line of people at an event. Dreams have a place on that list. But what else might? Dig a little deeper and write five (5) more.

We’re going to come back to the list. Let’s set it aside for the moment. 

If you are never traditionally published, or you self-publish and your sales don’t meet your expectations, will there still be benefits, or will you feel you’ve failed? 

In Episode 16 of The Scribbling Woman podcast, multi-published author Joanna Politano says that even if Baker had never picked up her (wonderful) Victorian novels, she would still write them. Writing is a spiritual experience for her—a way of hearing God. The fact that someone (the reader) is looking over her shoulder just makes it more fun. 

You might want to consider some of the benefits of writing that, again, writers before you have discovered:

• Pursuing a passion reveals who we are (Rumi)
• Writing keeps us wondering (Victoria Erickson)
• While we’re writing, we can be thin-skinned, easily yielding, and very close to delight. (unknown) 
• It splits us open (Natalie Goldberg)

If that moves you to add anything to your list, do that now. 

Know Your Why

We have to know the “Why?” or we’ll allow any and everything to stand in our way, to provide a distraction, to allow us to talk ourselves out of what we so long to do. 

And that “why” must be powerful. Strong. Compelling.

Look at your list and highlight or star or underline the ONE REASON that is the most powerful. The most compelling. The strongest. The one you can’t argue with or ignore.

You can’t get it wrong. This is your reason. It’s probably God-inspired. It is real. It is valid. It is your guide. 

It will keep you writing. 

Until next time …

Scribble on!