Loosening Our Writing Grip

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

E.M. Forster

We’ve been talking about our intentions for the writerly life. Not goals or resolutions or impossible-to-meet expectations, but the Big Whys that move us forward. 

One way to ensure that we move toward those beautiful intentions is to let go of things that don’t take us there, that might actually create speed bumps or choke us right the heck out. 

Letting go. Ohmygosh that sounds so wonderful and easy, right? One basic decision—I’m going to let go—and we can set it all free and just be.

Um… no. I practice yoga every morning and get myself free of the false voices, and then ten minutes later I’m standing at the kitchen sink berating myself because I’m a crappy housekeeper.

Nah, we give ourselves a far better chance of removing obstacles if we think of it as not so much just letting go but simply loosening our grip. It’s sort of like writing with a calligraphy pen. If we white-knuckle the thing, we rip right through the paper. If we go all loose-goosey with it, the letters are all over the place. A nice, easy hold? Pure beauty.

As individuals…

In terms of writing, what we need to stop holding onto quite so tightly is as different for each of us as our choice of pizza toppings. That warrants some personal pondering. Just a few nudges might get you started. 

Nudge #1: Consider your idea of success as a writer.

Nudge #2: Think about the activities in your life that make you say, “I don’t have time to write!”

Nudge #3: Be aware of what you think other people are thinking about you even writing, about your writing itself, about how much time you spend doing it.

Nudge #4: Give some thought to things like Return On Investment and what that really means to you. 

Nudge #5: Be honest about your own opinion of your writing and its worth. 

For all of us to consider…

Okay, now let’s look at some areas where I think all of us writers would do well to loosen up. 

First, outcomes. 

• Must get an agent
• Have to sign with a traditional house
• Only 5-star reviews will do
• Sell 100,00 copies
• Maintain at least 10,000 followers 

Could these things happen? Yes. They could. Is it a sure thing that they will if we do our best writing? No. Does having goals like these keep some writers moving forward? Absolutely. Is that true for most of us? Good grief, no.

For most writers, keeping a death grip on outcomes as our only signs of success and satisfaction paralyzes our creativity. We find ourselves writing for the market and the trends instead of from our authentic selves. We become trapped in uncertainty, a place where words don’t flow because they’re under constant scrutiny and have nowhere to go to get away from it. 

Those are cloud dreams. They’re lovely. But we can’t clench clouds in our hands. 

Second, what other people think. Yeah, whether we get an agent or a publisher or see great reviews all depends on what other people think, which is why we need to hold onto them less tightly. 

But here we’re talking about the people closer to us. What our families think of how we spend our time. Our friends’ opinions of what we ought to be doing with our lives. Our church community’s views on what we write. Our critique group’s assessment of how we write.  That person at a party who, when you reveal that you’re a writer, says “What have you published?” Followed by a pitying look when you answer, “I haven’t yet.” 

If people aren’t living lives that embrace their own creativity, they’re not going to get why ours does. Do we need for them to? Can we get past our mother-in-law’s raised eyebrows? Our partner’s complaints? Our pastor’s frown? Our boss’s disapproving look? Can we consider whether we’re actually neglecting what is ours to do, to see if it’s more what other people think that is? Could creating stories and narrative non-fiction be the thing we’re neglecting?

Finally, the concept of productivity. You do realize, don’t you, that you don’t have to be constantly optimizing yourself? That a vital part of doing creative work is actually DOING NOTHING!  

Truth be told, it’s only “doing nothing” in the eyes of our too-busy, frenetic, wired-up society. It really isn’t “doing nothing” to take a break from that story that’s not unfolding the way we want it to and go for a walk or poke around in a bookstore or knit a scarf or fix ourselves a coffee or stare into space. 

This is a Scribblie mantra:

Everything doesn’t have to go into the book.
Everything doesn’t have to get us more followers on Instagram.
Everything doesn’t have to bring in money
in order to be worthwhile. 

How DO we loosen our grip?

As we established in the beginning, we can’t just say, “You know what? I’m not going to think that any more. That no longer controls me.” 

Maybe you can, in which case, I’m in awe, girlfriend. Most of us can only get there by loosening our grip one knuckle at a time.

We’ll talk more about this in detail in the weeks to come. For now, maybe just consider this. 

Can you focus on one small thing you’re gripping that is keeping you from creative freedom? 

Can you explore where it’s coming from? 

And then can you move one knuckle away from it? Just to see what it feels like? 

For now, know that you are free to do one thing. And that, fellow Scribblies, is to:

Scribble On!