Living Without a Why

“This I know.

That the only way to live

Is like the rose

which lives

without a why.”

Meister Eckhart

In my elderhood, one of the things I know that I know that I know – and not just believe – is that there are some things we will never know.

So far, we’ve talked about being willing to live in unknowing until an answer does come to us. We’ve also explored a few ways to conduct our searching, even if it means just waiting. 

But I don’t think a journey toward truth can be completely authentic unless we sigh into the fact that there are answers we will never receive. Answers we don’t need.

You up for going there with me?

We’re not talking about spiritual by-passing!

We’ve mentioned this before and I think it bears repeating: if we shrug the moment we’re faced with confusion or doubt and say, “I’m just going to leave this to God,” we don’t mature spiritually.

The kind of never-knowing we’re talking about here is the kind that causes people to stumble and possibly never get up. 

Why do bad things happen to good people?

What is the purpose of suffering?

What does life after death look like?

Why are some people so fortunate while others can’t catch a break?

Really, Nancy? You think those question can’t be answered?

That is what I think. I’ve watched people get so tangled up in them, they lose the entire concept of faith. I’ve also heard people give definitive answers as if they have hard evidence, often making people’s suffering worse.

For example, a child is killed by a drunk driver. Of course, the parents are going to cry out, “WHY!”  The person with all the answers says, “Because God has a plan for your child’s soul.” If that is not followed by a face-slapping, one is surely being contemplated. OR, the grieving parent hears that and at least thinks (if not says), “Then that is not a God I can love or obey.”

Rather than why …

A wise person whose name I can’t recall (or I would quote him with praise), once told a parent in a similar situation, “It’s natural to ask ‘why’? But at some point, the real question is, “What do I do now, God?”

I just don’t think we can know why bad things happen to good people. If we happen to be those good people (and there is innate goodness in all of us), our questions can be: How do I get through this? When I’m ready, how can I grow? Is there a way that eventually my pain can be of help to someone else? Whether God “allows” those bad things to happen or purposely causes them so we can mature – neither of which I believe – what difference does it make? How do we grieve and then move forward?

We can imagine all kinds of wonderful things from Jesus’ words about heaven – or we can embrace the concept of reincarnation – but a clear picture of what happens once we draw our last breath isn’t ours to have. It seems to me that fear of hell has warped many as they try to formulate something concrete and scare other people with it. We. Don’t. Know. And does that matter as we live authentic lives? Isn’t now part of eternity?

As for why there is injustice – we can blame that on original sin (another thing I don’t believe in) – the power of Satan (which a whole lot of people spend way too much time thinking about) – or Eve and the snake in the Garden of Eden (don’t get me started on that) – the thing is, God never promised us “fair”. We can work for social justice, and we should. But to decide on the reason for why some people get all the goodies while others go empty handed is just so not the point. 

This week’s question: what is one WHY you might be able to let go and replace with WHAT IS MINE TO DO?

Me? Asking why I have certain health challenges always leads me to “What did I do to cause this?” The more I relinquish that, the more I can attach to well-being, no matter how much something hurts.